Things 2000s Emos Would Love To Bleach Out Of Their Memory
We all had "the phase." Maybe some of us went as far as to change our Tumblr and MySpace accounts to match the duchess of the night vibe that we were feeling that week, or maybe we only just dyed a black streak in our hair because that's all we could get away with under our mom's watchful eye. But we were all united by listening to pop-punk and don't you dare say you never tried it.
Here are the cringe things that defined what it was like to be an emo kid during the 2000s. Former emo kid to former emo kid, I genuinely forgot about some of these until I look down at my thigh and see the tiny cat ears and all the memories come flooding back.
Going To Sally's And Paying $80 For Clip-In Extensions
Every emo had a hair journey and it began with first dying it black and cutting your fringe. Then you got bored in a week and saw some Tumblr girl post a picture with 18-inch blue extensions, and you went yeah, that's my thing.
You Stole Mom's Christmas Twinkle Lights To Hang Above Your Collage Wall (Sorry Mom)
Only true emos had a collage wall. That thing was your crown and glory and made an appearance in every single one of your photos online. It hurt when you had to take it down, but not more than it did when your landlord freaked out about all the adhesive still stuck to the wall.
Explaining To Your Mom That Just Because You Wore All Black It Didn't Mean You Were Worshipping Lucifer
Okay, just because she saw a documentary and read an article in a Christian magazine one time, doesn't mean you all of a sudden were writing "666" in your own blood on mirrors because you loved the dark lord. You were doing it for your Tumblr followers.
Having Welcome To The Black Parade Locked And Loaded In The CD Player At All Times
If you were lucky enough to be your squad's chauffeur in your mom's Ford Focus that you slapped a Vans sticker on, you always had MCR's The Black Parade in the console waiting. You knew your one friend who liked Black Veil Brides and your other friend who liked Pierce The Veil were going to fight over music, so you had to pick a happy medium.
If You Couldn't Wear Your Chucks, Vans, Or Unif Platforms Then You Weren't Freaking Going
Being emo was a commitment that went all the way down to your shoes. Only true emos committed on that level, and you would sneer at any poser wearing a BMTH t-shirt with Osiris sneakers or glittery Claire's ballet flats. What were they doing?
Mosh Pitting Despite Getting Throat Punched Twice At Last Weekend's Show
Local band venues were the place to be Friday night even if you weren't quite healed up from last weekend. The kid with the snakebites threw a haymaker at you last time and you know it wasn't just friendly fire like he said. You've got a debt to pay back.
Watching YouTube Tutorials On How To Dye "Raccoon Tails" Into Your Hair
The only reason you tried these is because they looked so fire in your favorite scene YouTuber's hair tutorial. But, you'd spend the next week lying to people telling them it was your real hair (it was always the extension let's be honest).
Drawing Cat Whiskers On Your Face Because You Were Feeling Cute And Rawr xD Today
Remember when these were a thing? This was also back when you only had Nikon Coolpixes to take photos too, so you didn't even know if your selfie game was on point and you looked as kawaii as you felt. Better take 26 of the same photo and upload them all to a MySpace album.
You Had Alternative Press Posters Of Haley Williams And Taylor Momsen Plastered To Your Bedroom Wall
No two emo kids were the same, and we all had the artists and musicians and Tumblr people we looked up to and just wanted to look like. So we bleached our hair bright blonde (it turned out brassy) and wore heavy black eyeliner like Taylor Momsen. It was just how we were individuals.
Getting Blue Manic Panic And Ruining Every Towel And Pillowcase You Owned
Your mom was weirdly on board at first with this whole phase of yours because at least you were ruining your hair and not out in the streets doing hard drugs or anything. But she quickly changed her tune when she had to start throwing out every towel and pillowcase she owned because they were dyed completely blue.
Wanting Big Ear Gauges So Bad But Never Going Past A 0 Guage So Your Ears Would Shrink Back
The tattoos were a commitment, but the ear gauges somehow felt more real than that. Maybe it's because you knew that the bigger you went, the more likely it would be that your ears looked like deflated little tires when you eventually took your gauges out. And the ear cheese. Remember the ear cheese?
You Saved Up All Year To Go To Warped Tour
You were a big old nobody if you didn't go to Warped Tour and meet your favorite artists. Sure, it was near impossible if your mom wouldn't drive you, but it was doable if you and a friend both snuck out and took a Greyhound there. There was no way you'd skip the opportunity to blow out your eardrums like this.
You Knew You Were Going To Marry Skrillex And That Was That
Sonny John Moor, aka Skrillex, was your emo heartthrob boy that you would live and die for. The thumping bass and screaming in Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites just reached you on an emotional and spiritual level that no other song could compare to.
Having To Take Off All Of Your Beads And Bracelets Before Showering Sucked
The beads were an emo kid's badge that they could go to raves and have a jolly good time shuffling to Skrillex and Crystal Castles. But when the night was over and your white vans were brown with dirt, the last thing you wanted to do was shed your bead-skin and take a shower because that was a process.
Putting Black Eyeliner Over Your Entire Eyelid Because You're Committed
Sure, when you blinked it went all the way up to your eyebrow and all of a sudden rain or slightly humid air became your nemesis, but dang did you look good. Or at least unapproachable on public transportation and that's the same thing really.
Wanting To Buy Oli Syke's Drop Dead Clothing But You Couldn't Afford The Shipping From The UK
We all make fun of emo kids, but thanks to our emo phase we all learned the value of supporting artists we loved. So we all picked up an extra dishwashing shift at the diner we worked at just to try and buy those elusive tees and threads.
Having To Keep Parting Your Fringe Back Farther And Farther Because Your Hair Was Falling Out
Thankfully, none of us went bald from this hair experimentation period in our lives (and if you did I'm sorry). After dyeing it twice a month, straightening it every day, cutting it yourself, teasing, and hair-spraying it to immobility, your hair was parched. Also, it weirdly never looked the same every day.
Piercing And Stick-And-Poke Nights Were Something You Planned At Your Cool Friend's House
You can point out a former emo kid from a mile away if they're covered in terribly done tattoos and have an unnecessary amount of piercings that don't match the office job they're in.
Deciding Between Getting A Swallow Or An Arrow Tattooed On Your Wrist
Or a rose, skull, dream-catcher, or a naked woman. Basically, whatever sticker your local shop had a deal on for an $80 sitting that Wednesday. You would have to get it from a 40-year-old dude who looked exactly like Slash and smelled like a public restroom, but hey, it was all part of the experience.
Immediately Buying Whatever Christopher Drew From Never Shout Never Wore
This boy was the emo soulmate for every emo who wanted a good soulful guy with intact vocal cords who would actually be able to speak by the age of 30. Therefore, we dressed in whatever he wore because if we couldn't have him we'd die. Duh.
