8 of the Best Trade-To-Hook-Up Craigslist Ads

1. A chance to do a nude, post-masturbatory Godzilla impression and all the artificial crab you can carry

You read that right.

Want age 25-70 guy to come over and jo [jerk off] in my model train room. Mutual touching and stuff but nothing more than that… I’m not gay, it’s all HO scale then after you finish you can stomp around and kick the trains and buildings like a monster (dont break they are my sons) we can do this until 4 am or until we get tired. Also I have lots of imitation crab meat in my freezer that I need to get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It’s all perfectly good we just got too much!!!!

Okaaaaay.