Reasons We All Have Trust Issues When It Comes To Dating
Single people have it rough out there. Before you can secure a steady bf or gf, you need to navigate a world of subpar candidates (losers, if you will). The dating doesn't stop once you've found you beau, though. You still have to impress your partner with dinners and phone calls and jokes, oh my.
Basically, the chaos never stops. Read on for the sweetest way to friendzone an overeager buddy, an SOS message spelled out with cereal, and a prom date who'd probably rather be chasing tail.
Get Out
Video chatting with a potential suitor is all fun and games until somebody spots an eerily familiar buck mounted on the wall in the background.
Don't trust anyone who thinks dead animals can double as home decor. Also hypnotists. Those guys are bad news as far as anyone who's seen the movie Get Out is concerned.
Sleeping On The Job
Pro tip: when a lady invites you over for a Netflix and chill date, do not sleep through the Netflix part.
If you can't handle me for the first ten minutes of Chef's Table, you don't deserve to doze off before the main chef tells a sad story about his childhood.
Catfish Got Caught
It's always a good idea to be skeptical of strange men on the internet.
Sometimes, men give you no other choice but to be skeptical of them, especially when they include their Google search term in the screenshot of their fake selfie. Stay safe out there, ladies and gents. Read ahead for a monkey who is just as frustrated as all of us.
A Spoonful Of Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down
Sometimes it doesn't matter how many hints you drop or how many dates you turn down, your good friend just can't accept that you aren't into them romantically.
What better way to break the news that it's never going to happen than with a delicious frosted sugar cookie?
Still Looking
This series of Tumblr posts is a prime example of the old adage, "check yourself before you wreck yourself."
If you don't want your date looking around for other potential mates, you probably shouldn't be doing that exact thing either. Keep your eyes on the prize.
TFW No GF
Juggling casual flings and a 'friends with benefits' situation can be exhausting. This Japanese snow monkey knows that the number of problems you have is directly proportional to the number of hookups you engage in per week.
He obviously doesn't know that it's not advisable to bring your phone with you into the bath. Read on for the real you vs. the text version of you.
Surveillance Squad
Don't tell your friends where you'll be going on a date if you don't want them all to show up, sit at a nearby table, and judge silently (or not silently).
This is obviously a tradition that has been passed down from the Renaissance era if the picture above is to be believed.
The Perfect Pair
When it comes to dating, these two with their blank expressions and weird pose don't give us much faith. They're dressed up and look as though they are heading to a dance. One would think they would be happy and maybe put the cat on the floor.
Seriously, the cat looks like its the happiest one in the photo. And that's saying something!
Behind The Screen
Each emoji and exclamation mark you add to a text corresponds to exactly one one-hundredth of a smile. This means that you would need exactly one hundred exclamation marks to convey real happiness.
Anything less just means that you barely visibly amused. Read ahead for a guy who starts his nudes campaign early.
Photo Foolery
I think it's time to take this relationship to the next level.
This is the best way to avoid sending an actual picture of yourself to a potential lover. If a still from a problematic video game doesn't say, "I'm single and ready to mingle," I don't know what does.
Facebook Fail
It would have been worse if she was complaining about him on Twitter and Instagram, too. The more social media platforms, the more intense the embarrassment.
At least he re-shamed her on his own Twitter account. This whole encounter didn't end well for anybody,
Breakfast of Champions
I very much respect the amount of effort that went into spelling out "send nudes" in Captain Crunch. Alpha-Bits would have been too easy. Captain Crunch shows that he's up for a challenge.
Does the end result warrant nudes? Judging by the caption I'd say he didn't get any. Keep reading for a sneak who's out to steal your man.
A Smooth Criminal
Just because someone is on parole, doesn't mean they aren't a very nice person with good values and really bad luck. People get wrongly convicted all the time— at least, that's what every crime show ever made has led me to believe.
And an ankle monitor would work as an excellent ankle weight.
Sworn To Secrecy
Relationships are hard enough to manage when they exist out in the open for everyone to see. Imagine having to conceal an illicit affair with a vice president in a bunny costume for years. That's no easy task.
It kinda makes all your dating problems feel insignificant now, doesn't it?
A Wandering Eye
Once you're in a stable relationship, you have to deal with the constant threat of other, more attractive people moving in on your territory.
There is no more attractive person than this snake with spaghetti on her head. I'm sorry I can't be her too. Read ahead for the worst way to make a first impression.
Grilled Cheese Or Chicken Fingers?
Dating is difficult as a full grown adult human, but it's even more challenging as a young kid breaking into the dating game for the first time.
The least we can do for these kids is make their lives even more difficult to prepare them for what is to come. This was an act of kindness— a mercy pranking if you will.
All Is Not What It Seems
Men, it's time for you to know that every close up booty pic you've ever looked at has been the crook of an elbow or the cook of a knee.
On the plus side, scientists may have finally figured out where knee fetishes come from. It's called evolution. Our needs are constantly changing.
A Family Affair
This date wouldn't have been so bad if the guy's parents were really cool and interesting people like Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, or the creators of Dunkaroos.
It's always nice to go on a double date with people who could potentially be your future in-laws. At least she got a free meal out of the experience.
What's Left Behind
This cat is not used to his owner having a girlfriend, let alone one who regularly sheds bobby pins. He is transfixed by the strange object and by the concept of female humans in general.
I understand you, cat. Women are confusing.
Fake It Till You Make It
The top picture would have totally fooled me if I hadn't seen what's really going on in the photo underneath.
This is actually an excellent dating hack. Instead of putting up with another person in your space, put some booties on your hands and live your life the way you want to.
