Odd People And Parties Who Never Should Have Run For Political Office

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey Wants To Suck Your Blood

Jonathon Sharkey/Wikimedia Commons

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey is a professional wrestler turned vampire who wants nothing more than to become President of the United States of America. His stance is pretty relatable too; he just wants to impale criminals, dismember drug dealers, and suck the blood of beautiful women.

The Impaler put his political stances to the test in 2012, attempting to run as a Republican. The campaign was unsuccessful, although Sharkey did gain notoriety and even appeared on the Tucker Carlson Show letting the world know he was a right-wing vampire who got his first taste of blood at five years old. Sharkey, who somehow has three children, plans to run for political office again in 2020.

Jack Sparrow would fit in perfectly with our next party!