These People Are Painfully Single and Ready To Mingle
It doesn't matter if you're chronically single or newly single, the desperation stays the same.
Sometimes it can be awkward and lonely but it's worth it because you can't be judged when you eat microwavable meals every day, or when you show up to a wedding all alone and drink the bar dry. You get away with a lot more when you're single because usually people just feel bad for you. This list will make you feel a lot better about yourself because you may be single, but hopefully, you're not THIS single.
Wait For It
Being single isn't just a relationship status, it's a state of mind. While everyone is bringing their dates to prom and spending insane amounts of money on them, this guy is having the time of his life by himself. This is a picture that encourages independence. His happiness doesn't lay in the lap of anyone else but himself. You go, man.
Dinner For Two
This is a great idea because 1) Felix the cat will not finish its plate of spaghetti (which means more for you) and 2) Felix the cat will certainly not finish that wine. You don't even have to feel bad about taking the leftovers because Felix doesn't love Bolognese sauce to begin, he's more of an alfredo kind of cat.
Sending The Wrong Vibes
When you're a newly single elementary school teacher, it's probably not the best strategy to always be talking about your ex in front of the class. Your grade two geography class doesn't need to know that the entire state of Virginia is off limits and terrible just because that's the birthplace of the guy you just broke up with.
A Must Read For Anyone Single
When you're newly single and relied on your significant other to cook all the time, you feel lost. This book is a must-read for any dependent cooker who is now going through the cold world alone. It gives you all the "How-to's" of cooking Kraft Dinner and microwaving leftover pizza from two weeks ago (the safe way).
The Cheaper Lifestyle
Even a date at McDonald's for two people can cost you upwards of $30, which is incredibly pricey if you're weighing the pros and cons to a bottle of vodka. A meal at Wendy's isn't going to give you the confidence to dance on the bar or allow you the privilege of tripping over a curb in front of police officers.
Easy As 1,2,3
Trips to Egypt take a lot of planning, time and effort to pull off successfully. Vacations are meant to make lifelong memories that you can enjoy for the rest of your life, but what if all your pictures are taken with your ex? Well, the solution is simple — turn that person into something you like1 For example, this woman turned her ex-husband into stone. Checkmate.
What A Stump
The difference between this photoshop and the rest of them is that this one actually looks legit. Which one was the original picture? We'll never know. Can we talk about how weird prom is in general though? You go to a nice setting and just get your picture taken with your date from like 60 different angles. Am I the only one who is weirded out by it?
"I'll Take The Single Booth"
Every restaurant has the booth in the far corner where they isolate single people. This restaurant was nice enough to not put a mirror (which is usually there) in front of him on the wall. This is a booth solely made to shame anyone who sits in it. Absolutely no smiles or laughs are allowed to be present whilst sitting in the booth of shame.
Painfully Single
This girl in the background is playing the classic "third wheeling drinking game" which is proven to be the quickest way to get really drunk. The game is simple — every time you feel uncomfortable because of the couple's PDA, you chug your drink and don't stop until they stop being gross. Instant blackout.
Beach Vibes
There is nothing more annoying than having to put sunscreen on your back. There's a specific part in the middle of your back called the "dead zone" where the extension of your arm can't reach. This is a tell-tale sign that you're single and lonely if you have this tattoo on your back because it means you didn't have anyone to help rub in the sunscreen, and you certainly weren't going to ask one of the guys.
Beyonce > Everything
Beyonce makes everything better, and everyone looks better. in her presence. There is no boyfriend or girlfriend in the world who is better arm candy than Beyonce. Has Beyonce ever done something wrong or does she just prance through life without flaw? Her net worth combined with Jay-Z tops a billion dollars, which is insane.
Pizza Is Always Better
Sure, being cute with your significant other is fun and all but making out with a slice of pepperoni is always cuter. Unlike a girlfriend or boyfriend, pizza doesn't disappoint you by having emotions and jealousy attached to it. For example, this girl could throw the pizza across the room and stamp on it and wouldn't say a peep.
Cuffing Season
Everyone talks about the colder months as the time of year when you should be cuddling up to your loved one and hibernating until summer comes around. For all the single people out there who don't have that luxury, this weird looking squishy astronaut will always be good enough. Look how content she is.
Photoshop Really Does Solve Everything
When you go to Mexico, ALWAYS travel with a giant burrito. The benefits far outweigh the negative looks and confused stares. For example, you don't ever have to wait in line at a restaurant ever again. Going clubbing? Bring your mutant burrito and you'll get free drinks all night. Satisfaction guaranteed.
It's Actually Better Than Jenny Craig
Losing weight is really tough. Basically, it means you have to live on a box of kale salads with non-fat dressings for the rest of your life. It's not fun, but what if losing a significant amount of weight was as easy as a few clicks on your mouse? Well for this girl it was. Dropping 200 pounds in a day is outstanding, so this girl deserves all the credit in the world.
Party On, Garth
Couples costumes are cool and all but have you ever dressed up your dog to match you? No? Well, congratulations, that means you're probably not as single as this girl. Although I must say, the resemblance between Garth and a golden retriever is uncanny. It might be the nose, but I haven't been able to pinpoint it just yet.
Target Acquired
Look, when you're chronically single the standards start to lower really quickly. It goes from "I only like blondes" to "as long as she's nice" to "anybody who's willing to talk to me". In this case, the standards are basically to not have a kid, be wanting a kid, or be HAVING a kid. That's the bottom of the barrel in terms of standards but I guess you have to start somewhere.
Merry Christmas "From Us"
Christmas cards are really just canvases to show who your real family is. This girl is all in on her pet chicken and she wants everyone to know. On the contrary, this chicken DOES NOT want to be wearing that hat and it's hard to blame him/her. Some people just aren't festive and chickens tend to be in that realm.
The Man Is Educated
It's a wonder why this guy is single, but then again, flaunting your credentials is not something that attracts everybody. He is bringing his degree to work in hopes that the hail mary works. Not only did he just bring his credentials, he brought the most expensive one with the most flavor and punch. Impressive.
If You're A Tree, I'm A Tree
Did you know that Bonsai cultivation is nearly 2000 years old? Or that there are two types of Bonsai trees, Formal and Informal? It's technically an evergreen tree because it doesn't lose its leaves during the winter or fall. Are you interested in Bonsai facts? No? Should I stop asking questions? Yes. Sorry.
