Questionable Pics That Really Needed A Second Opinion
They say two heads are always better than one. They're gonna have to be in this case because the pictures assembled below are too perplexing for any one person to figure out on their own — I tried my best and didn't come close. I need a second opinion. That's why I am calling upon you — the general public — to help me trying to figure just what in the heck is going on in some of these images. Without further ado, behold the list of pics that stumped me.
Lance Armstrong Training For His Return To The Tracks
It's said that Lance Armstrong cheated to win his record-setting seven Tour de France titles. That without blood doping, he would have never come close to the mark. Well, I say if you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough. Glad to see our man is back on the bike and getting ready to take back what's rightfully his. You go, Lance!
Nailed It!
You know, someone somewhere has kept this image for reasons that will only be alluded to in this article. The last thing any of us expected to see was a sexy portrait of a female Squidward, but here we are. It's fair to say this is nothing short of a masterpiece.
Ugh, iPhone Users
How drunk do you have to be to completely miss the outlet and plug your charger directly into the drywall? The answer is: not drunk at all. Apparently, you just have to be an iPhone user. The phone with a limited interface does just about everything except teach its owners how to push a plug into a wall socket. Considering there are more than 90 million iPhone users in the U.S. it's safe to say a lot of people were deeply offended by these statements. If you think that's weird, wait till you see the brutal photoshop job a few pictures ahead.
Spaghetti Legged?
The expression "spaghetti-legged" is in reference to someone who has put their lower body through so much strenuous activity that their legs become weak, causing the person to become sloppy and stumble around. This is the best description that I can think of this picture on such short notice. It's a pun.
Ewww
Nutella and iPhones are a basic girl's version of peanut butter and jelly. Like LeBron and Dwyane Wade, they go perfectly together. How many Coach carrying, Uggs wearing, iPhone tapping chicks do you know who don't eat Nutella straight from the jar with a spoon? There answer is none! They all do it.
Best Beats, Bro!
It was nice to believe for a second that this DJ producer who claims to be in the process of mixing a banger track on a Gameboy actually managed to transform his portable gaming device into a computer screen but sad truth is that this pic is clearly photoshopped. Take a look at the top right. Let's just hope his DJing skills are better than his photo editing skills or else he's screwed. Looks like we actually got to the bottom of this one. The same can't be said for the strange corn toilet paper roll.
Is This Real?
Either I have died and gone to heaven or the future is finally here. I think I speak for everyone when I say I am tired of gravy cans that drip or struggling to properly propagate my sauce across all food items that need saucing. Thanks to the spray bottle format I can spread the love this Christmas evenly across the plate while avoiding all that nasty clumping.
This Is Exactly What You Think It Is
It was only a matter of time before someone took VR way too far and that day is today. Friendo in the picture here is being married to whoever is queued up in that headset. See how I didn't make any gender assumptions back there? It's 2017, people, get with the program.
Corn Rows?
I can't figure out for the life of me what this is supposed to be. Is this supposed to be a poor man's potpourri? Or is the next guy who sits down to take a crap expected to wipe his butt with a cob of corn? These are the questions I have to ask myself on a daily basis in this line of work. The questions only become weirder the further down you go.
Meanwhile, In Ireland
A city bus packed full of potatoes is a weird sight whether you're in Ireland or somewhere else. We get it, the Irish love their potatoes, but that still doesn't make this alright. Ironically, it was the potato that nearly wiped out the entire country in the 19th century thanks to bad crops.
This Is New
Either the circus is in town or buddy on the strange tricycle needed an extra body so he could legally ride in his bike in the carpool lane, which still doesn't explain why chose the penguin to be his companion. Also, kudos to him for caring about the environment. We've come so far as a society.
Literally A Beer Belly
For all the men out there lacking the authority and distinguishment that a real beer gut provides, this disgusting-looking fanny pack is the perfect temporary solution because it also allows you to carry beers with you so that you can continue working on a permanent fix. This is still not the most perplexing picture on the list. That award goes to one further ahead.
X Marks The Spot
It saddens me to know that kids these days will never know what it's like to play cars on a carpet roadmap. They won't know the joy of following the road rules for all of 2.5 seconds before saying screw the rules and taking the vehicle off-road, through fences and over houses.
No, These Aren't Tiny Marines
Sorry to disappoint you all, but the above picture isn't of a platoon of very short soldiers. The illusion is caused by what the science nerds call refraction of light wherein the light hits the water and bends, causing everyone to appear shorter. Who knew you'd learn something in this article?
Why, though?
As cute as this is, I'd love to meet the genius who first thought of wrapping adorable puppies in pop labels and placing a cap on the top of their heads to make them look like furry pop bottles because I have so many questions that need answers. If you're reading this, give me a shout. By the way, aliens exist. The proof further ahead on this list.
If That's What You're Into
First of all, this is a huge waste of ketchup and fries. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, it's time to address the bigger issue here which is what in God's name is going on in this picture? Are McDonald's combos the secret cure for dry scalp?
Genius
This is nothing short of impressive. You have a wheelbarrow, a milk crate full of junk and a bicycle to get you from point A to point B. Given the distance you have to travel, it only makes sense to do it in one trip. What do you do? Put the wheelbarrow on your head, of course.
Aliens, Man!
Finally, some proof that aliens exist. Giorgio Tsoukalos must be thrilled that his life's work is finally paying off. Sure, it is a little strange that they're riding in a flying saucer that doesn't actually fly, but we can just ignore that part and enjoy this great discover for what it is.
This Guy Knows
We're all living in the year 2017 while this guy is living in the year 2030. How many buskers or bums out there take card? This totally wipes away the most reliable excuse out there, "sorry, man, no change, just card." Foolproof until today. Someone needs to stop this dude or else we're all screwed.
Ear Shaped Earrings...With Earrings
Also known as the first level of the ear inception — an ear within an ear capped off by an earring. This is child's play. We can go deeper. All I want for Christmas is to see someone wearing an ear-shaped earing where the earing attached to the ear is another ear. That's all I want.
