People Who Are Hogging All Of The Confidence From The Rest Of Us

Best Seat In The House

This is confidence on a new level. This is some Bear Grylls/ David Blaine confidence that gets them to do things that any normal person wouldn't think of doing. This guy is casually on his way to jab a hot knife through his hand just because he's bored. These are the people we can't trust because they're probably not even human.

Top Off Party

"I'm warm blooded," says this person as they drive in negative degree weather with their top down. This is the same person who sleeps with no blankets on their bed in the dead of winter and the airconditioning blasting. These are the types of people whom you can never marry unless you've grown up in the Arctic.

The confidence of this wrestler coming up to wear what he did during a match is hilarious.

Pokemon Is Always More Important

Once the first Gameboy came out it was the beginning of the end for kids and their attention spans. This kid could be wakeboarding but he's currently battling a Pokemon Bug Catcher and his Ratatat is about to take a beating. This is the look of absolute concentration and strategic planning. Don't talk to him.

Always Time For A Dart

If you're already this deep into a sinking car you might as well have a dart and enjoy the ride. This is actually a microcosm of what smokers are really like. It could be a full-on hurricane outside but a dedicated smoker will still beat the odds and have a dart outside. The most confident they'll ever be in life is when they can smoke one or two.

Distraction Tactics

This is just confidence in optics and aesthetic. This kid could be the worse wrestler at the tournament and he'll still come out with the win. Why? Because he's wearing something that is going to distract his opponent from their gameplan. They now think they're wrestling a mom in a bikini and it's offputting for them because they're not sure where they can touch and where they can't. Boom. Win.

The strongest thing in the world is not what you think it is, find out just ahead.

Uh Oh

I'm not sure if this cop fully understands what this t-shirt means. Yes, this was taken in Northern Virginia and they have a serious BADGER problem there so it could be that the cop got lazy and jumped to conclusions. The real criminals are the badgers around there because they're vicious and have no respect for house pets.

"I Dare You To Touch Me"

This would be similar to a wanted criminal walking right past the police station at lunchtime. This chicken is on a whole other level of confidence in that it's just clucking by a Kentucky Fried Chicken like the chefs aren't looking for some fresh meat. This is a "catch me if you can" moment if I've ever seen one.

Hold On Tight

Things that are weaker than those buttons: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson at his peak, diamonds, The Mountain from Game of Thrones, and those wristbands you get at concerts that stay on you until your death. Those buttons are screaming in agony during this picture, and our thoughts are with them.

Just ahead is a guy who was found guilty of a crime, but his bizarre facial expression would say otherwise.

Direct Attack On The Competition

First of all, Domino's is a better pizza place so by directly marketing their product outside of a Pizza Hut it was probably effective. Pizza Hut pizza kind of tastes like it's used with all leftover ingredients. Look, pizza is pizza but if you're going to line up these two companies beside each other, Domino's wins 100% of the time.

Point A To Point B

This is an absolute power move to drive your pink barbie jeep to school. First of all, it's small enough that you can fit into any parking spot on the lot (including ones that have been taken). You can also reverse without risk of hitting anyone, but most importantly, you get to drive around in a frickin' Barbie Jeep.

Yolo

This is the face you make to your friend after you left the Principal's office and avoided being suspended after you climbed on the roof. This is the face you make when you see your friend at the bar talking to the person you know they had a crush on. This is also the face of someone who's apparently guilty of something bad.

If you think Santa is confident while driving his sleigh, you've never seen him on his Mexican vacation. That's coming up.

Improvising

When are suspenders going to come back into style? They're a clothing accessory of the past and it really sucks. Belts are more subtle, but for any fashion-forward lad out there, you know that suspenders can make or break an outfit. Having a good pair of suspenders is underrated and having a good bungee cord is underrated too.

Float-Thru

While most people try to stay indoors, these people are confident enough to take their kayaks and to the crab shop. Also, maybe not the greatest name for a restaurant considering the STD connotation that comes along with the name "crabs". That doesn't take away from these people who are commendably courageous.

Santa On Vaykay

Good for Santa for going on his annual Mexico vacation with little to no cares in the world. He always tries to fully embrace the culture by strutting around in a sombrero and a cut shirt. He calls his vacation "Rudolph-free" which is why he's seen taking public transportation. Reindeer and humid weather don't match that well.

This arrogant pickup truck driver gets all that he deserves from this smart car after doing, uh, pick up truck things.

"You're Late"

This is how your mother looks at you when you walk in the door three minutes late. She has eyes that could pierce through your soul and the first words that come out of her mouth after she clears her throat obnoxiously loud are, "I trusted you," to which your reply is to make up an elaborate excuse. It doesn't work, and you're grounded for life.

Gluten Free Please

This is what happens when gluten-free people take over the world. They order ice cream cones and say "keep the cone" in the Drive-Thru. Even worse, when someone is gluten AND dairy-free they order their ice cream and then don't take any of the dessert when they roll up to the window.

Pick Up Truck

There's an epidemic of horrible drivers in pick-up trucks. Just because you're higher off the ground and have a longer vehicle doesn't mean that rules don't apply to you. For example, parking horizontal in these spaces is ridiculous and deserves to be blocked in by a Smart Car. Demasculating, yet humorous.

Speaking of emasculating yet humorous content, we have more where that came from further down the list.

Classic Airport Reads

This guy has no shame in reading Playboy in an airport terminal and it's actually respectable. There's a lot of negative connotation that surrounds the magazine but it actually has conducted some interesting in-depth interviews that would be very good airport reads. For example, they have fascinating interviews with Miles Davis, Bette Davis, Stanley Kubrick, and Martin Luther King Jr. to name a few.

More Important Things To Do

This bank teller must be very confident she's about to crush this game of Solitaire because she now has quite the audience. This is the definition of "Y'all can wait" which is fair because if you've ever played the card game you know that there needs to be a flow and if you're on a roll there's nothing that going to stop you.

Scrub-A-Dub-Dub

Uh-oh, the fun police have arrived, spoiling all the good times with their nonsense rules. What so wrong about two people carrying their bathtub outside and taking a dip in public, anyway? They're not hurting anyone. They may have ruined a childhood or two when climbing in, but who's counting.

If you want to read about other people who are gaming the system, you need to read about the guy crossed the border on a bicycle.

Smokers Will Get This

Ask anyone who smokes and they'll tell you that no matter the situation, there's always time for one more cigarette. Whether you're late for work or being chased down by a pack of gigantic hunchbacked mutant reptiles, a nice smooth dart can only make things better. Why not have two while you're at it? There's no way lung cancer gets to you before those hideous things do.

G'd Up From The Feet Up

They say you don't choose the thug life, the thug life chooses you. From a young age, Johnny was different. He wore sunglasses inside and loved to stick up his younger sister for her toy jewelry. By age seven, little Johnny was already hustling on the corners, slinging lemonade for a buck-fifty a cup. When one man asked him why his prices were so high he responded "supply and demand, sucka."

By Any Means Necessary

That's one way to cross a border. Canada doesn't have much, but at least you can legally drink in most provinces at the age of 19. For anyone crossing the border looking to tie a few off, this is a clever way to get through without a hassle. For one, no one is searching your vehicle. Secondly, you can get as boozed as you want and still pedal your way stateside. Brilliant.

Now that we've seen boys on bicycles, the next step is old men on scooters. You can find that just a few items further down the list.

Me After Eating Taco Bell

I'm sure it's really cold out there, but it seems like the people sitting behind him are doing just fine without sticking their butts on a burning couch. Look at him, he's not even wincing. Not to mention that warm beer probably tastes like piss. Talk about hogging all the confidence.

The Original "Got Eeeem"

This what having all the confidence in the world looks like. He's rocking a big beard, 90s kicks, a fanny pack and he's riding a weird motor scooter with this look on his face that screams "try and stop me." Well, Mr. Wilson, we won't dare try because no one can stop a man of your bravado.

They See Me Rollin'

They're trying to catch him riding dirty. Seriously, though. His family has been looking for him for well over four hours. Darryl has been zipping around the city searching for a dog that doesn't exist and he already pooped his adult diaper. The family is very, very worried about him so if you have any information on Darryl's whereabouts, call the helpline.

What's with retirees and letting standards slip. We have another possibly funnier example of that a few items down our list.

For The Boys

You're hosting that big Super Bowl party and you don't have enough fridge space to accommodate all the beers the boys will likely be bringing. Your master plan is to borrow a fridge from your mother. When you get there, you find out the appliance is way too big to fit in the back of your wagon. What do you do? Strap that thing to your hood and stick your head out the window. This guy's got the right idea.

Deep In The Heart Of Texas

For those of you who think you can just slip on a set of boots like this, hop on a bike and pedal until your heart's content, think again. It takes practice to ride a bike while wearing Mexican Pointy Boots. How does he keep them from getting caught on the handlebars? It's impressive is what it is.

Fresh Out The Shower

I guess it pays off to live a few steps from a Walmart. He was probably already in the shower when he noticed that he had run of shampoo and body wash. Instead of wasting time putting on clothes, he did what any happily retired man would do in his situation. He wrapped a towel around his waist, slipped on some flippy-floppies and walked to the store.

Who do you think cared less about their surroundings? This guy or the guy three examples later who showed up at someone else's wedding wearing a wedding dress.

We All Know This Guy

He gets a ticket, whether it's from a private lot or issued by the city and he simply shrugs his shoulders and says, "I'm not paying that." I respect that guy because I'm the complete opposite. I worry about consequences. So when I get a ticket, I pay it without question.

This Is Quite The Duel

Our ballerina comes bursting into the frame looking to snatch the spotlight from our police officer who is clearly the original subject of this photo. It appears, at first, as though she won the battle, but due to the officer's indifference to the event, I'd argue that he won some of his confidence back.

When Everyday Is Your Wedding Day

Someone's cousin got super drunk at the reception and thought it would be fun to get dressed in a wedding gown. The wedding should be about the bride and groom, but when you hog confidence to the level that this guy does, every event is about you regardless of who's attending. Step aside, Trump, Chad is here.

If you thought this guy was the life of the party, wait till you see the guy with horsehead.

Don't Mind Me

This kid walked into his lecture 15 minutes late. He pulled up a chair facing away from the lecture and put his head down to nap. The look on his professor's face says it all. Why come to lecture at all if you're just going to sleep? Well, probably because he wants to show the rest of the class how inferior they are to him when he crushes the final after sleeping through every lecture.

Nap Time

It takes a special type of person to sprawl out across the back bench of a city bus during the morning commute, one of the busiest times of the day. What this picture doesn't show you are the 10 or so people forced to stand at the front because this sleepy headed person wanted a more comfortable napping spot.

Horsin' Around

Just look at how pumped up the crowd is right now. Horsehead guy has invigorated the masses and seems completely indifferent to it. He's done this before. No big deal. When you're used to being the center of attention, situations such as these ones don't seem all shocking to you anymore.

Coming up, a good boy rides on the back of motorcycle without restraints

Of Course

People who drive Hummers are trying to overcompensate for their lack of confidence. They think that by purchasing a hog of a vehicle they can project the macho image onto people. That's also why they act like jerks on the road and park on snow banks because they can.

Meanwhile, In Alaska

There are very few people in this world who are more indifferent to their surroundings than this person. Through a snowstorm in the dead of winter, this guy is driving a convertible with the top the down. It wouldn't surprise me if he was doing it all while wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt.

Confident Good Boy

This dog is oozing with confidence. By that I mean it he has to be confident enough in himself to stay on the back of this bike and he has to have confidence that his owner won't send him flying off enough to get on the back in the first place.

Let It All Hang Out

That is one distinguished gut, my friend. If there's one thing men of this generation lack it's a waist girth. It takes both pride and confidence to unbutton a shirt on public transit and let it all hang out like that. Don't even change, my dude, you're fine just the way you are.