People Are Reflecting On The Effects The Weird Stuff They Did As A Kid Had On Them, And Things Started To Line Up
Being a kid is really really weird when you look at it in retrospect. Innocent yet snappy, funny yet clueless, and just plain weird.
It's a time when your biggest fear was getting caught picking your nose, even though you did it anyway. We were all a bit bizarre in our actions and thoughts, but that's the point. Our childhood formed who we are today through habits and structures that we snagged as kids. Twitter took hold of this premise and ran with it. The tweets poured in about moments in people's childhood that perfectly exemplify how they are as adults and their absolutely hilarious.
The Beginning...
At eight years old, the world is your playground. You have a level of optimism that any problem, no matter how dense, has an easy solution. In your head, bullies are just misunderstood and need some guidance that you will happily provide them. Christina found out the hard way that it just wasn't that easy.
Some Justification...
When you give a Bible to a bully there are only two outcomes. Either they find Jesus and become better people (that happens about 0.001% of the time), or they take that Bible and use it as a weapon of mass destruction. Bullies often have very good resource management skills and see the hardcover of a Bible as a useful tool to get lunch money from the first graders.
Let The Flood Gates Of Comments Open...
The creative mind of a child is absolutely fascinating. When your world is morphed by cartoons and silly banter while standing in line with your classmates waiting to be dismissed from class, things can get weird. While some dreamed of being princesses in a faraway land, others fantasized about the bloody murder of their cartoon heroes.
It Got Really Weird...
Cheating is never okay. It's not fine when you cheat on a test in school, it's not fine when you cheat playing kickball at recess, and it's certainly not fine to cheat at my birthday party. If you think I won't risk my life to expose your cheating ways at MY birthday, you're thoroughly mistaken.
The Attention Seeker
Oh, you think Forrest Gump is good? You should see this masterpiece that we made at second recess last week. It's a love story that follows me as I fall in love with this girl who I haven't talked to yet, but she's in my class. I always stand behind her at the pencil sharpening station and have yet to build up the confidence to say anything. This is my story...
The Runner
Running away when you were younger was a hobby for most of us. We used it as leverage against our parents when they would do something that we didn't like. Not having Mcdonald's until next month, Dad? Really? Okay, well Mexico border, here I come. Pack my bags sis, I'm out of here.
It's Just Basic Science Grandma
Grandma is stuck in the 1800's apparently if she didn't know that the only reason Jesus could walk on water was thanks to his lanky physique. He used to be able to slip through the cracks of doors because of his slim figure, which was the original reason people thought he was the child of God. True story.
Please, Your Voice Hurts My Ears
Look, most of us absolutely love music. But it's one of those things that can lose it's aura really quickly if the person singing is awful. Just because you like to sing Leigha, doesn't mean you're any good. Just because you think you look like a combination of Adele and Fergie doesn't mean you sound anything like them. Now, eat your potatoes.
Sorry I'm TOO Right
That one kid who, at the age of 19, was already smarter than the teacher and made you feel an anger that you didn't know you could feel. The anger came from a place of jealousy. Why is it that James gets to have the mind of a Harvard Law grad in grade four, yet I couldn't even tie my shoes consistently?
Guys? Guys? *Three Hours Later* Guys?
This is just cruel, but we've all done it or at least seen it done. Hide and seek was THE game when we were younger. It was one of the ways that you could prove that you belonged with the cool kids, or even better, your older sibling's friends. Unfortunately, all you were there for was the humiliation factor that came with ditching.
"I Love These" ... I Know
This is the type of intelligence that I wish I was able to have as a kid. It's not just smart, it's genius. It's like making a Batman movie — you know people are going to like it because it's already a proven premise. You know the neighbors are going to buy the flowers because they've already shown interest in them by buying them in the first place.
Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures
There are very few things that can wake a kid up from a sleeping curse. You could yell "PIZZA" or "CHOCOLATE MILK ALERT" and you may have some success with waking him up. The only guaranteed way to wake up a kid is to have someone with "cooties" kiss them on the lips. It works 100% of the time.
Um, Rawr?
Haven't we all at one point wanted to be the King of the Jungle? Yes, I know a tiger isn't exactly a lion, but they're pretty close. There's nothing wrong with pretending you're an animal, but when you're trying to eat your siblings, it might be taking it a little bit too far. The cup of blood thing would be the last straw. Taking Allison to live at the zoo immediately.
You Know These Types Of People
It's very easy to pinpoint these kids. These were the same people who would sit in the front and put their hands up for every question the teacher asked. They would then go up to the teacher after class just to complain about Robert sitting behind them who won't stop throwing pieces of his eraser in their hair.
Wait, This Was An Actual Thing Normal People Did?
I don't know whose family this is but, they're way too tame. While most parents are worried about their kids singing an awful rendition of Mambo Number Five, these parents have to worry about their kids reading? It sounds almost too good to be true. Too much silence. Way too much silence.
Did I Say I Like Cookies? Not Anymore
Sometimes it's just better if we don't meet our idols in person. I remember meeting Captain Hook at Disney and he was about nine feet tall and really nice. I wanted him to be brutal to me. I wanted him to walk me on a plank and threaten to push me off. I wanted him to have his hook neck asking for ransom money from my parents, but he didn't. He just wanted a picture.
Mummified Early
Right out of the womb it seems that kids have a fascination with mummies and the pyramids. Some of us just take the obsession a little bit further. If I were to guess, Kylie is a Comic-Con regular and has spent over $2000 on toilet paper to wrap herself up in and channel her inner Ancient Egyptian Mummy.
The Coolest Religion
Eid is referring to a holiday that's celebrated by Muslims. While it remains one of the most misunderstood religions, it also happens to be one of the most popular. It's fairly common to make up aspects of your religion to make it seem cooler than it is, but this fib is amazing. If you're going to lie about your religion, make it big.
I've Been Saying That All Along
What's great about Sleeping Beauty is that you start to relate to her more and more as you get older. It's a tale that only strengthens in relatability as you age, which is why it will be a classic forever. Don't we all just kind of want to be able to sleep for as long as she does while maintaining that immaculate contouring and lipstick glow?
"Don't Come Crying Back To Me Tomorrow"
It's pretty obvious what happened here — her friends took the stability her planning provided for granted. It's not easy to have a different agenda for every recess. Yeah, you may not agree with every decision she made but it's important to at least appreciate the work. She grew up to be that mom that plans all the "girls getaway weekends" a year in advance.
